It's only in your head
by AsikIkisa
Summary: Almost like a never ending nightmare. But one day it's time to wake up. Shizaya, a kink meme fill. Feedback is appreciated.


The snow was falling, huge petals. He stood in the middle of nowhere, only snow around him.

It was cold. The coldness going through every cell of his body, so that even his usually warm black fur rimmed coat wasn't able to hold the warmth.

And he felt... empty. Guilt flowing through him and the pressure of regret overwhelmed him.

Why? Why did he always use work as an excuse to not be with Shizuo? He loved him wholeheartedly, hell Shizuo was the only person whom he really cared about.

So... why? Why did he let him leave to the place where he couldn't follow him?

"Hey... can you hear me?" he screamed with all his might, but only echo of his word could be heard, the question repeating in no end.

'So he isn't here huh? If so... where am I?' he though before he awoke.

The clock was ticking, like a bomb. Tick-tack tick-tack tick-tack... and Izaya opened his eyes. He saw the white ceiling of his bedroom.

'It was... a dream?' he though as he turned to the left. He saw the blondes back besides him and his heart skipped a beat.

'Ah... what? He's right here, isn't he?' he wanted to hug him, but then the figure of the blond disappeared.

"Eh? Huh?" and then tears gathered in his eyes, and he begun to sob quietly.

"Damn... what is it? I can't stop..." he said as he couldn't stop the tears from falling.

Then, he opened his eyes again and saw the white ceiling. And Shizuo's face, wearing a sad, yet worried expression.

Shizuo held his hand, and helped him get up, so both of them sat on the bed. The raven haired man was still crying.

"It's okay... if you laugh. I saw... a dream. A dream where you weren't there anymore. It was horrible to you... using work as an excuse... I deeply regretted it when you passed away. It was so cold... and I though that it would be better if only I was nicer. If... I only said "I love you" more. More... then it definitely would've been better. " Izaya now sobbed uncontrollably, continuing after a while. "I wanted us to be happy. I wanted that but... Shizu-chan was no longer around anywhere. I... say... are you really here right now?"

Izaya stretched his hand to stroke Shizuos cheek, and he felt the blonds hand taking his front of the black shirt he wore.

"Can you hear my voice?"

When he touched the blondes cheek, he felt the tears. That confused him, very much.

"Eh? Shizu-chan? Why... are you crying?" Izaya said, his voice full of wonder.

The sun shined through the leaves of the trees in Ikebukuro park. Shizuo was standing there, smoking his fifth cigarette. He was waiting for Izaya to show up. The flea always was punctual and now the blonde ex-bartender waited for fifteen minutes.

This confused Shizuo, but he waited anyway. Today morning he forgot his keys to his apartment in the fleas flat, and he called Izaya to give him the keys back. But the raven haired man was nowhere to be seen.

"Hello, Shizu-chan. Tired of waiting already?" he heard that cocky voice, whispering to his ear. He turned around and saw Izaya, the keys swiveling in his hand.

"You sure took your time. Why are you so late hmm?" Shizuo said, clear annoyance in his voice.

"Business, business. But I'm here at last, so you should be happy right? Say, you didn't only want the keys right? Otherwise, you could come by to my apartment. So what do you want to do now?" Izaya said, toying with Shizuos keys.

"Well, I must go back to work soon, but... I can at least steal a kiss from you... if it's okay" Shizuo said, trying to catch the keys while Izaya was tossing them up and down.

A woman with a little kid passed them, and the kid looked scared when he saw Shizuo.

"Mommy... is this guy talking to himself?" the little boy said, a bit scared.

The woman took the kid from there not answering. And then it hit Shizuo. Was he the only one here to actually see Izaya? If so, then what happened?

"Ah, so you noticed. Well, it was weird from the start anyway. But your conclusions are right. Izaya Orihara died five months ago. Yet, you can see his ghost here. But it didn't matter to you, since you were happy to see your lover everyday, right?" Izaya said, his whole figure fading.

"But don't worry. It's only in your head. And now, we have to part but... I could at least steal that kiss from you, right?" Izaya said, and his posture could be hardly distinguished, but he stood up on his fingers to kiss the blonde, hands curling into a loose embrance.

When he faded completely, Shizuo felt tears, gather in his eyes.

He awoke from his dream, hearing the clock ticking, and quiet sobs from the man beside him. He helped him up, and when Izaya told him about his dream, he couldn't believe it. When the raven haired man touched his cheeks, tears started falling from his eyes, uncontrollably.

"Eh? Shizu-chan? Why... are you crying?" Izaya said, as he wiped the tears from the blonds face.

Then Shizuo embraced the informant, tightly, so Izayas wet face was in his torso. But he didn't care much about it.

"I... saw a dream too." Shizuo said and exhaled, only to continue soon. "You... were dead in that dream. In that dream Izaya... was dead and became a ghost. But you... were together with me. With you I was... with you just beside me I was... really happy." Shizuo said and smiled, a genuine smile.

"... But... ah... when we're like this... It feels so much better with you right here. You're all warm" Shizuo said, and then Izaya closed his eyes, the tears finally stopping.

'We're living' both of them though, deepening the embrace.

(A/N; Yet another kink meme fill. Based on this comic .net/552923

I hope that you enjoyed reading it. And Feedback is love :D)


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